I have had that song ringing in my head a lot lately. I guess I have a hard time trusting. People let us down, and that is one of many human flaws. But God does not deserve to be labeled untrustworthy.
This is what the Lord has been gently, mercifully, and patiently teaching me:
I need not worry about what person A, B, or C is doing over there. I am to be focused on what God is doing with me right here. This is something cool I thought of the other day. You know when you look in your side mirrors on your vehicle, and they say, “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.?” Well, it’s the same with Jesus. He’s definitely closer than He appears. Especially when no one else is around.
When I take my eyes off Jesus for even two seconds, the enemy sneaks in and tries to get me to take a different route. Much like the roads in Lamar County the route is desolate, bumpy, uneven, and full of potholes. And boy do they tear up your van.
I cannot trust in myself; a paycheck only goes so far, but the Lord will go the distance. The past few weeks have been trying to say the least. Trying on me, my family, and my poor van! When I first took my job, it was under the idea that it was to be part-time, and I would not be away from my family very much at all. After training it became abundantly clear that this was not to be the case. I decided to “help” my boss and co-worker out, and work 32-40 hours a week, so that there would not be a bunch of schedule confusion. What I didn’t realize was that helping them, was not helping me-or my husband and kids.
Basically what happened is that God allowed me to see what I was missing at home and my days were becoming increasingly miserable. I came home and cried some nights. I can’t go into detail here, but the stress had even begun to affect me physically. I was desperate to hear from God, so Sunday I prayed, “Ok Lord, what do you want me to do? You know everything that is going on in our lives and all of this is just too overwhelming God!” I prayed and asked Him to speak to me through the sermon that night, and you know what? He did. Loud and clear.
I needed to trust. God will take care of us. He reminded me that He has and always will. He has been quietly showing me too. Jeremy has been able to get some computer jobs on the side, and I take that as even more confirmation that God is in every teeny, tiny detail.
I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that we will be ok. I have complete and utter peace about quitting my job. My kids are excited too. Lizzie will not cry anymore at bedtime, and the twins will have the one constant caregiver they have only known in their 4 years back to care for them like no other can or will.
“Trust and obey, for there’s no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.”