Monthly Archives: January 2012

Cape Disappointment.

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The secretary showed us into the meeting room at the lawyer’s office today. It was a room filled with shelves and shelves of old law books and such. We were told to take a seat and wait on the legal secretary to join us. The table we sat at was a large wooden table with a glass top. Underneath the glass top was a map of the Americas, North and South. I suppose it is there to distract from all the yucky legal proceedings and happenings that might take place in that room. I’ll come back to the table in a minute.

There have been 2 situations in my lifetime so far that have hurt my heart very deeply. As of today there are now 3.

The legal secretary came in and gave us the documents that needed to be read and looked over for errors. There was a wrong address so we sent it back with her to fix. And then we waited. And waited. All the while memories and happier times replaying over and over in our heads. The birth of the first son, and 11 months later the next; same birth weights, same dark hair and eyes, same birth month. Just like their mom and aunt-born 11 months apart, same birth weights, same dark hair, and almost the same birth month. The preemie boy number three who, born at just 3 pounds, is a little trooper. The planning of a mom’s first baby shower. The excitement of a new sonogram picture. Playing with cousins.

I hear some sniffling and see the wiping of eyes. I am holding it together. I feel like I must or this may not go as planned.

Finally the secretary came back in with two witnesses. She asked my sister if she had any questions and my sister said she didn’t. The tears are falling from her face. My mother is quietly crying across from her. I was fine until my sister begins to sign the papers. The dam breaks and I can’t hold it in any longer. The gift of motherhood slipped away in that very moment and all I could do was sit there and cry. Motherhood is a gift, and if I didn’t know it before I sure do now.

Back to the table.

In the time while we were waiting for the secretary to fix the error on the documents, I perused the map. There right in front of me was a tiny island off the Eastern Coast of South America called Cape Disappointment. I kid you not. Go look it up. Irony, oh how you slay me.

I am currently a tourist on the Island of Cape Disappointment. There are so many disappointments, hurts, worries, fears, and concerns, so I may be on this island for awhile. I don’t plan to make it my home, but it may take longer than a “3 Hour Tour.”

Pray for my family, please. I know the Lord has a perfect plan and I am trusting in Him to bring it to pass, but I am exhausted in so many ways. I must not “Grow weary in well doing.” I’m holding on.

Holding On by Jamie Grace:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hSyfGuDtgY&feature=related

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Why I’m a Mean Mom…..

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….or, “Why I Won’t Let My 13 Year Old Daughter Have a Cell Phone.”

Really, it’s simple. She doesn’t need one. That’s the main reason, so if you don’t feel like reading my supporting reasons then just stop reading now. I feel the need to add a disclaimer here: this is what we have decided to do at the time for our family. What other parents choose to do with their families is their own biz-ness, and I am not going to say it’s wrong for someone else’s kid to have a cell phone. Well, you know what I mean 😉

Here are the reasons why-(short version)

1. She doesn’t need it. Really this is the main reason.

2. I am not going to pay for her to text her friends, which is the only reason she wants the phone. Facebook is free and you can do the same thing. It took us awhile for us to consent to that as well, but we have access to her account-that was the main condition in order for her to have a page.

3. Having a cell phone is one more way for a kid to tune out their family and retreat into their own little world. Don’t think Satan doesn’t use that one.

4. My job as a parent is not to fulfill every desire my children have, and as much as I love my little darlings, I have to keep them safe as well. Cell phone users are not immune to predators.

My reasons why-(long version) 🙂

First off, she’s just a kid. A homeschooled kid at that, who spends most of her time (much to her chagrin sometimes) with her family. I know where she’s at. She doesn’t need to call me on a cell phone from the other room to let me know she’s ok. When she is with a friend or group of friends, most of them have a phone anyways so no worries there. She can take Jeremy’s cell phone out with her if need be and that is fine.

Secondly, the only reason she wants it is to text her friends. I asked her to come up with 3 good reasons why she needed one and the only one she stated was “In case of an emergency.” As long as she has facebook, and most of her friends have one too, she is able to talk with her friends on there. Why on earth would I pay a monthly fee for her to text her friends when she can do basically the same thing for free online? The money isn’t even an issue, it’s the principal of the thing.

Thirdly, and I don’t want to beat a dead horse, but she is young. I mean, last time I checked people under the age of 19 are still kids, right? I want her to be a kid for as long as she’s supposed to be a kid. It’s kind of dorky really, like, “Oh man I wish I had a cell phone.” It’s like me saying, “Oh I wish I had a programmable crock pot.” It’s just a crockpot, and while very handy, it is by no means a necessity. Kids pining over cell phones is just…..weird to me. Go be a kid-have a friend over and actually talk face-to-face!!!

My daughter thinks she is a “loser” because she is the only one of her friends who doesn’t have a phone. What a crazy way to think. Why does it have to be like this? Peer pressure over a phone, how messed up is that?! To some people I may be over-thinking this. It is just a phone.

13 years ago I never would have guessed that the peer pressure my daughter would be facing would be about having a cell phone, and I’m thankful it’s just that, because it could be something a lot more harmful and difficult to deal with. But a cell phone, really? Strange times we’re living in, strange times indeed!